As you know I am sitting at work and unable to concentrate. I feel weak,
overwhelmed, stupid, anxious, and confused. I feel unworthy and unsettled. You know, the I am such a failure and a sinner. I have so many things to do and shouldn't even start to do anything because I will fail at everything anyway because I am so undisciplined. The "my life would be better if this happens and then I would be able to do that" type of thing.
I've prayed today but not with my whole heart, body, and mind. Again --- the lazy undisciplined way I've been feeling all day.
So, I wrote a letter to my prayer buddy very similar to this in hopes that by writing it I may hear it too - I know I am a miserable sinner who can be lazy and imperfect BUT God loves me anyway! I WILL shake this funk TODAY and ask for God's help to calm my insecurities, wash away my fears, and restore strength in my body, clarity in my mind, and peace in my heart.
I renew my commitment to the Lord who is my Savior. I ask for the forgiveness and cleansing that only He can offer.
Christ as my Lord and Savior.
Guider of my life.
Creator of my soul.
Charter of my destiny.
Master of my life.
Now and forever more.
In the earlier parts of writing this I was thinking I could really use a hug. It
is so funny (God has a fabulous sense of timing!) how once I shared all of this with you someone just popped into my office and unexpectedly and told me she is going to be a grandmother in March. I am so happy for her and her family. She has known for 6 weeks but just a few moments ago go the OK from her son to spread the word and wanted me to know. It is wonderful how God provides us with what we need through the intertwining of various peoples lives.
Thank you so much for being my ear to share things that would otherwise keep rattling away destructively in my mind. God sure blessed me with a good friend in cyber space! I hope your day is as wonderful and beautiful on the outside as I know you are on the inside.
Love and prayers my sweet sister,
Then I prayed once again to you my Heavenly Father and rejoice in the blessings and strength you provide to all of your children.
Praise be to God!